My name is Bonita Christensen and Bognetta is my artist name. I’ve been a recluse artist in hiding most of my life. As time passed, there have been many different jobs that paid the bills, but they never fit into one category, thus, defining a specific career path I should take. Instead of embracing what I was from the get go, Artist, I dabbled in may different careers, as well as college courses that suited my interests, the same way an artist chooses various colors for painting their canvas. (The featured artwork is a painting I gave away to the Burger King in Lahaina. Burger King was part of my working history in Wisconsin and one of the places I’d enjoyed working) Not everyone has the ability to choose what they like to do as a career. There are too many other voices giving them advice, steering them towards safer avenues. There are also obligations society recommends that make it difficult to simply latch on to what they love to do and follow their heart. Even so, I believe dreams still come true when one comes to terms with what is possible and can begin to trust people in the field they want to enter. It really is a process though since so many emotions and old connections can stop you dead in your tracks if you don’t let go and move on. We play many roles and wear many hats. Sometimes we get stuck in indecision because we overanalyze everything.
Many times, the job I was involved in was simply a dead end and I didn’t quite see that or I just thought it was an economic necessity to keep performing it anyways. Habits are hard to break when you think you’re comfortable. The money keeps coming as do the paychecks so breaking routine seems stupid. It’s not a matter of blaming any one entity for the poker hand you’ve been dealt. More so, it’s a matter of finding out that it’s really the love and passion inside that is your driving force as to what it is you wish your life to aspire to. There has to be a belief in the achievement of your intention. But then there are the factors of patience one needs to develop as well as elbow grease one wants to invest. We live in such an instantaneous, gratuitous world that we often forget to have appreciation for the process itself. Sometimes I feel we are never satisfied or content because so often, in the market place, we are led to believe we need something else to ‘complete’ us. Really though, we were successful at the start because conception happened and we made it here.
Before I get too philosophical, which I already did, I would like to describe some inspirations that brought me to the promise of my resolve. Now, through many streets, taxis, buses, and planes, I finally came to the conclusion that Maui, Hawaii is home for me. Even though I lacked the confidence to really reach out to people, I finally gained courage as time evolved. A stepping stone for me was to become a Subway Sandwich Artist. Even as an adult, I still feel like a child reaching out to people and things, but not really knowing why or even having a plan. To combat many of my insecurities, I started reaching out to Jim Carrey on Twitter while posting many old college poems which were written out of desperation because I felt a certain angst. But I could not properly define or address it much the same way a child is disciplined by his/her parents, but is not allowed to express discomfort, discontent, or injustice. Through it all, I’ve learned that I am an ultra-sensitive artist and personality. It’s very complicated. Like life hands you a plate of food and you’re just supposed to come to enjoy it! HA!
Now I’ll admit that I may have gotten carried away with Carrey, but I couldn’t help it. His initials are J.C., his middle name happens to be the name of a brother I never had the pleasure of meeting, and yeah, the roles he played in the movies rocked! To add to the temptation, he became a painter. But really, just knowing him this little while has helped me stop and reflect on my own path and where I want to go. A little voice inside is telling me to be what I know I have been all along. The other occupations will always be there, but I won’t always be here to create art.
There’s been a shadow of distrust that prevented me from experimenting, living, and offering myself up to being vulnerable. Sorry folks, but let’s face reality. It’s necessary to be vulnerable and take risks. Even so, I still pull back once in a while. History concerning getting hurt or used has a way of preventing my going forward. It’s silly really. I mean if I want to curl my hair, I might get burned, but that’s the breaks. We all get ‘used’ but it’s more a matter of perception and attitude that makes it bothersome. But there has been hope for me as I’m certain there is for everyone. Situations change and they come to pass!
For me, life has been much like a patchwork hobo bag. I’ve collected various personalities. I used them as fabric to sew into my own style and understanding. Maybe I didn’t really know who I was or my purpose and maybe I’m still on the journey to find out. If something was attractive as far as a personality strength or trait, it was probably because I needed development to find that strength in myself. Naturally, I would latch on. Sometimes letting go was difficult for me to accept because it wasn’t my choice. Truthfully, I do not think we ever completely let go because those connections have a way of sneaking back. The managing of one’s own emotions is personal, but I have found that if I pour my energy into activities I love to do, motion replaces emotion to a certain degree and I don’t remain stuck with the needle on the same groove in the record. We have the power to get up and change the tune! In any event, when I make my art pieces, whether they be paintings, drawings, poems, or music, I hope people can be moved to take action on their own dreams.